IMG_0573This is a good one. I had to re-post it…Shut Da’ Fuck Up!

Having been brought up in older times far from today, I can recall being taught to “only speak when spoken to.” Then there was, “some things are best left unsaid or how about, there is a time and place for everything and the most familiar, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Who started this shit anyways? Now, I consider myself respectful, but c’mon on now, really? You mean to tell me that if someone is speaking to me in a way I consider to be disrespectful or derogatory, I shouldn’t say anything until the moment they are done. By which time, I may not even feel worthy enough to speak against them or what was said. Here, contradiction intervenes. In a prior statement made on a different platform, I mentioned on the topic of effective communication, how allowing others to finish speaking before interjecting or responding makes for a good flow of conversing. Yes, this is part of learning to communicate effectively; however like most situations in life, there is a very fine line that distinguishes one thing from another.

Truth is, I am a talker, a motor-mouth and an animated speaker. These are a few of the labels, I was groomed to wear. Why? Because this is what I recall others saying about me. Others constantly labeling me, not realizing the harm it may cause.

Balance is crucial. I even remember the moment; I lost my confidence in what I wanted to say. It was a highly, debatable topic. (No need to specify) The conversation was intense. I was accused of contradicting myself. I briefly thought to myself how, how did I contradict myself? I knew what I was talking about. Shit, the conversation was about a situation I was in. Here’s the thing, I didn’t really understand what the word contradiction meant. I thought of it as a negative word, indicating a person not knowing what they were talking about or lying. At the time, I interpreted the word to be in the same class as hypocrite. No way was I trying to be a hypocrite, no way was I trying to contradict myself. I was simply presenting my case and responding in accordance. It was a great talk; however, it made me feel a way. A way that stuck to me like glue, I never said it stopped me from talking completely but I definitely didn’t speak up for myself in regard to future matters. When I found out the true meaning of contradiction, (long after that conversation) I realized it was okay. I presented my perspective at that time. The point isn’t whether or not I contradicted myself; what matters is learning to choose my words carefully when speaking with others. There is indeed a difference between speaking with and speaking to others. Listening is very important. Speaking with gives you more time to listen; while speaking to doesn’t allow much listening time, therefore, feedback is pretty useful at times. (Sometimes it may not be)

So, in this particular lesson, I’ve learned when and when not to shut ‘da fuck up. We must be careful when it comes to our communication with others and with ourselves. I understand how life can be so overwhelming; too much shit to beware of. At times, there’s too much (negative) shit going on to worry about. No one wants to walk around paranoid, rite? And it may be a bit annoying to always see the sunny side (positivity) in everything.

Reflecting back to that particular conversation has allowed me to gain a sense of confidence in what I say and when I say it. Did I overreact by questioning myself? Maybe. There was no way of knowing the result of that before hand. It’s like that with lots of circumstances in my life. You just don’t know.

(Another lesson of not knowing everything)

What I do know is the more I continue to learn, the more confidence I am regaining in regards to speaking with people. My mentors are teaching me about things that for so long I thought I knew. The more I am learning just when to shut up, I am learning that listening can be the most important part of a conversation. It has allowed me to gain an understanding of the different perspectives we have in the world. I wonder how much we as a society could accomplish towards better days if we just learn effective (non-violent) ways of communicating. Modern day style.

For one, we all can learn a thing or two from each other, even if it turns out not fully understood in that moment. Asking questions can sometimes aid in gaining a clearer understanding. Not all of us learn on the same level or in the same capacity. I have learned to take responsibility for my own part in what I am learning. Some of you may agree that we learn things from each other all the time, everyday, (Youtubers, social media pros, television, blogging, books, etc.) on a variety of levels. Again, there is a redundancy going on here. On purpose, I have to keep telling myself things of a positive nature just to gain a balance. I can only speak for myself in saying, my life has indeed been filled with many situations, others may or may not have agreed with or understood. It’s life you guys, learning and learning to listen and sometimes staying away from what some may be teaching. This is one of the most valuable life lessons I am learning. There are times when I just need to shut da’ fuck up, but then there may be times when I should speak up.

Has anyone else ever felt voiceless?


There’s a first for everything

Hey guys! I just wanted to pop in and let you guys know how I appreciate your visiting. I believe Sharing is caring! I will be posting another Life Lesson rather soon.


This lesson has just dawned on me as I pursue my journey. It’s strange how the life I never thought I would have is the one I have. Ha, I’m still trying to digest it. I never thought I’d be needing a wheelchair. Chronically ill and it can get a bit lonely. I miss wearing socks. I would not have thought that bathing, cooking and cleaning my house could ever be a problem for me and yet it is. I didn’t think the last time I drove a car would be the last time. Living on a fixed income wouldn’t be so bad if it was enough to live on. It’s just not. But, I had to learn to take my challenges head on and not run from them. I couldn’t run anyways.

The fact that I am LIVING LIFE ON MY TERMS GUIDED BY HIS LIGHT is a miracle in my eyes. I didn’t think I would see the present days and now I actually look forward to each day ahead. I mean when you think about it, all our present moments are all we have to work with. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed and yesterday has already gone.

I have decided to make a commitment to myself that I will not let fear keep me from my passion. I love helping people through rough patches. I love encouraging others to go for the gusto. Why not apply the very same practices toward myself? Am I the only one who does that? Wanna make sure everyone else is ok, to hell with myself. NO MORE, I say, no more!

Do you realize that we have the opportunity to give it our best shot even when we don’t think we have it in us to give?

Do you understand the power within you? I am a true witness to the FACT that the impossible can be made possible.

I plan to challenge myself to remain positive about situations that I have no clue of the outcome. Why do I stress over shit I don’t know how it will play out? The learning that it is so much to life yet it doesn’t have to be. Finding strength to overcome was like a scavenger hunt with no treasures. Struggling with so many things can get me down and keep me there if I allow it. I also plan to dedicate more time to meditating because I slacked off. Spending that quiet time with myself is critical because my mind moves fast all the time. Always has. Maybe now I’m excited to be alive. Now there’s a first. I remember wanting to die. Those moments were awful. Boy am I glad to have gotten through em; though I still hurt.

So, here’s the thing; love yourself, love your life and love others. You can treat each day as if it’s a new beginning because guess what? It is! The lesson here is do the best you can with you got, hope for the best with what you want but try not to disregard your needs.

You guys are so quiet. Let me know how you’re doing. Is today a good day? Not so good day? Has anyone had any amazing breakthroughs lately? I’d love to hear from you. If you like reading magazines, I recommend Holl & Lane ,such inspiring stories.

Til next post, smiles and blessings to you!

What I thought I needed; wasn’t.

Moments of pity with myself existed on a regular, honestly because being broke til it ain’t a joke makes the struggle real. Well, it sucks. I never knew I would be okay. I didn’t know I was going to be okay. The reality of having an amazing daughter, a family who loves me, supports me and a warm heart; that was my start. A pretty good start that all don’t get to claim. Something that crept up on me.

It took a while to get to that realization. I spent years TRYING to make sure my daughter and I had all we needed and helping others when we could. A safe roof, food, clothes, gas & electric, the latest gadgets (thanks to an unending advancement in technology), etc. You get my drift, wait a minute, keyword TRYING. I fell short all the time. It was always this, that or the other we needed and I had no clue how I would get it.

I actually had it all; all along.

IMG_0573Here’s another life lesson learned, “Wake up!” This covers a broad spectrum. We all have within us what God intended us to have in order to fulfill his purpose for our lives and this is to spread the awareness of His presence and encourage others to draw closer to Him (your higher power).

Now, keeping in mind that we are nowhere near perfect people, but we are human and we all need love, support and clean WATER.

Sure, there are many things that we can fill a notebook with, if we were to list them out and it may differ as per individual; however, as a human being that list gets minimized to bout half page.

Still keeping in mind, the fact that we have the power of choice; it is up to me as to what’s important and not so important but I was forced to take a second look at my situation and wake up. For me, the term, “Wake up,” is my way of expressing how coming into an awakening of my self-image truly is. Self-love, self-awareness and self-respect has changed my life and it feels incredible. No, I haven’t been rescued from anything in the flesh; however, my spirit has been repaired and now it is what leads my life. I understand that I can only speak for myself and that’s the point. I am asking the question of, “What if we all woke up and smelled ourselves (not roses)?” Maybe if I can take the time to change/improve my scent to what I want it to be and not some artificial, cheap ass shit somebody else drenched me in, I could make a difference.

There will be those who are attracted to scents that I may not find appealing and that should be okay. There will be scents that I never smelled before, that I may happen to like (maybe even try for myself) and that should be okay. What if I smelled a way that was offensive to someone else’s liking? Should I just assume, because they choose to express their opinion of my scent, they are trying to hurt me or make an ass out of me or disrespect me? Maybe.

My point here is, if it weren’t for me “waking up”, I would not have been made aware of who I am and the blessing of time and power of choice to be who I want to be. Chosen to be (sanitized and deodorized).

A better me! Yes, its possible! And so can YOU if you choose to allow it. As it turns out, I needed help with that.

When He feels it’s your time, the lessons of life begin to re-play. I’ve learned that it’s okay to share, to help one another for the better good and that’s my choice to believe that. (my own perspective)

I will continue to work to be who I was meant to be and stepping into my own shoes because they fit well, I can try out other shoes too, if I choose to. I can provide feedback but, my own shoes are the ones I was born with and as I grow they will too. I get to wear them and I get to leave positive impressions in the earth as I journey in my purpose. They would be there if someone should need some direction along their journey and they get to leave their own impressions and so on and so forth.

The world goes around and around, getting better or worse, but the directions and impressions that are left for me I can choose to follow them or I can choose to create my own. At the end of the day, I want to be able to say that if you are inspired by my examples, then I am doing what I should be doing because I now know where I’m headed. I’m walking forward living my life, on my terms, guided by His light.

Mistakes are that of my own, some made shown. No judgment from me only by He. My mistakes have helped me in learning life’s lessons.

As always I appreciate you stopping by. Follow me to stay in touch. If you enjoyed this post, why not share it. Someone else may find it helpful.

Thank you!        Smiles and blessings!

A loud thought…

Yesterday I had a loud thought. It was recognizable and had happened plenty of times but yesterday I decided to listen out loud. Now, this may sound–well I don’t know how it sounds; it happened. God spoke to me. It was the continuation of talk that began with me the moment I was born. It’s just a few years recent that I was delivered to hear that of which. It’s super hard to describe. It leaves you feeling super high. A natural HIGH. Whenever this experience takes place, it feels like I can take on the world. Does that really mean take on the world? No, certainly not, but it does mean that I already have what I need to progress in the life that is meant for me. How do I know this? Because I can feel it and see it and now share it. Ironically, the experience sounds similar to the high I experienced in the past living with Bipolar.

But this is different. Profoundly different.

Because of this voice, I have gotten to know myself again. It has allowed me to re-enter a personal growth mindset, a passion for learning and this lesson is all about “bringing it down a notch.”

The short version is best explained as I wish I had known then what I know now. Sound familiar? Well, the fact is I know now what I didn’t know then. When we listen, we learn. While life has me fighting against so many odds, I am somehow still alive and it feels amazing to have been blessed with such mercy. I may not be a guru of any kind; however, I am being led to the sharing of lessons I’ve learned along the way.

Here’s what’s so funny. Until now, I have been trying to figure out how to build a bigger following? How do I get people to take me seriously and more importantly, how can I get people to want to get to know me?Well, according to most branding, startup business videos, blogs, etc., I’ve been researching, these questions to self are more common than not. Truth is, the only time I feel like I am enough is when I hear the message and yes I understand how odd that may seem to some. It is what it is. I am a work in progress and my self-esteem, confidence and self-worth still get tested at times.

Let me put it this way, we all have this capability. We can all live purposed, fulfilling lives. To whom shall your life be fulfilling to/for? I had to ask myself that question over and over because something just wasn’t right. Keep reading…

Back to bringing it down a notch; I am learning:  1. I don’t have to go so hard for people to know who I am. 2. I accept the fact that some reading this may not be interested in getting to know me at all. 3. It’s okay if I am not as popular on social media. And lastly, 4. It’s okay for me to still be me; a servant of God.

I can now say with confidence that I am living my dreamed life. A dreamed life I wasn’t confident of before. I am a storyteller and these are the lessons of my story. If I can be living proof of how He will do it then I know it has all been His will.

Here is a piece I hope you enjoy. As always, I thank you for visiting and your likes, shares and comments are appreciated.

A busy mind leads me to exhaustion.

A broken body exhausts me just as much.

At the end of the day, I yearn for a satisfying reasoning why.

Achy fingers and feet to painful to touch.

No one knows me, No one cares and yet I still work towards that unknown life.

A life to be free. Free to live. Free to need. Free to want. Free to help.

So that becomes the answer. A satisfying reason to my why.

Just sayin’


Generational improvement exists.

We can all remember times when an older influence would say something to the effect of, when they were whatever age at the time they didn’t have this or that or they didn’t have whatever it was they were laying into you. They wish they would have had someone tell them this or that. Is it safe to say that we have all had those moments when we reflect on this or that and it’s those moments of learning that we get to pass along to the next generation? Igniting potential improvement in the world we live in.
By believing in the natural process of the circle of life, has allowed me to release the feelings of guilt, responsibility and lack of faith that held me captive. I did the best I could with what I had or thought was the best I could provide. I also made many mistakes that I wish I hadn’t but if I hold on to that negative weight thereof; I deprive myself the feelings of joy, happiness and gratefulness around me.
During my lowest moments, I now tend to think about the greatest moments and when I’m in the greatest moments, I’ll never forget the lowest moments. It’s a balance that is working out well for me. It is a difficult process but it’s getting just a little bit simpler. The harder the situation the more of a challenge it is to find your way through. It is an amazing feeling of breakthrough; an overcoming.

So why not support, encourage and root for our own people (meaning those closest to us.) Call it cooperation with the growth process. We all learn, interpret and express ourselves differently. It is one hope that the developmental process resulted in healthy minds. We will experience the learnings from the Almighty; what will you do with yours?

I choose to share but the next person may choose to remain private. That is ok. It should be ok when others make different choices. It leads to a communication process open to our adversities vs a toxic society where we lack support and cooperation with one another.

I just want to live safely, freely and rejoicefully! And that should be ok.


Thank you for visiting! I appreciate your like, share or comment!

Saturday Share


The examples of existence that surround us takes its toll.

To be or not to be is how it will unfold.

If only I had known becomes the norm to all.

What goes around comes back around; history, life tightly shaped into a ball.

What will you make it out to be or is it matter of a fact that it’s you and no one else who chooses?


Thank you for visiting.  LIKE, SHARE, COMMENT!

In My Opinion

Hey guys, I hope all is as well as possible with you all. Glad you can make it back to visit. Now, today I will be sharing an idea that has come to mind I feel is worth mentioning. I have been writing to various platforms in hopes to an invite to share my ideas with their readers. I realized what the hell was I thinking I have my own damn platform with my own awesome readers. So, I would like to invite your perspectives, your opinions as your birth right to expression here on my blog. It’s a process to build but you are worth the building.


Now, Really? Are we actually arguing the fact that NFL players are kneeling during the National Anthem and disrespecting our United States American flag? First of all, it’s not even like that but anyways, what happened to the 1st Amendment (Wikipedia)? Hello?

It should be okay for ANYONE to express their opinion or protest against matters that mean a great deal to them as long as it doesn’t break any laws. We ALL will never agree on everything all the time so please let’s respect other peoples’ freedoms.  Hmmm… Jus sayin’ I won’t even get started on Pres. Trump! I just won’t!

Peace is of value in my life.

I am no political guru. I am no any type of guru. I am able to speak for myself. I initially was only going to be posting about lessons in life that I’ve learned, then I was like hey, don’t be afraid to speak on other topics that are different than my norm.  I was a little hesitant at first to even bring such a subject up but, then I thought what the hell! I can speak on whatever I damn well please, rite? As you can too. As ordinary people, our voices’ matter too!

So, how do you feel about this being headline news when we have people in Puerto Rico, Texas and Florida and abroad suffering from catastrophic disaster?

If there is any particular topic you’d like to talk about, place it in the comment section and we can talk shit about it.  More life lessons are coming up soon. Will you help to build this platform by sharing it with others. We can make our own speaking points.

Thank you for joining me and thanks for being you!

Peace & Blessings


How are you?

I came across this article and it had me thinking 💭 🤔 Yup, I seem to do a lot of that these days; shit, most days. Sometimes, I am not “fine.”

Here’s the infamous question that tv show host Wendy Williams has patented as, “How you doin?”     Check it out here>>>>    Fine

Thank you for visiting! Catch ya on the next Life Lesson post.





Relationships – What happened to forever?

Surely, we know that there are many types of relationships to be had. Family, work, INTIMATE, etc., all which come with their own expectations and faux rules. Easy peasy, rite? Do good, get good. What if the shit isn’t that simple?

So, here’s my thing with relationships and how they lied when:

The many types of intimate relationships from which I have learned consisted of heterosexual, bi-sexual, lesbian, bosses, OPP (other people’s property), shared relationships (business propositions) and all the shit that went along with them. Not all at once! That would be insane. Let me be clear, the OPP relationship was a teen romance (nightmare) but, nonetheless, has taught me a lot, only worth the mention. I learned early in life not to fuck with anybody that already had somebody.

Now the shit that came along with all theses different types of relationships that I write about were issues of infidelity, damaged self-esteem, betrayal of trust, physical abuse (in some cases sexual abuse) lack of support and the list can go on forever. Sound familiar? Gosh, I hope not. Some of those issues were ignited by me, I admit I was the culprit. And naturally, some of those issues were of no fault of my own; that was my claim. However, I still was the culprit. You must understand that in any given situation approachable, I had to consider MY part in it.

Although these days I’ve become known as a writer, I will make this as brief as possible. (skipping most of the glory details unless you request one on one talk time with me) Questions are certainly welcomed. This is my perspective…

Coming from a space in life I once was, I loved hard and was always searching. Since my teen years, I always found myself in a relationship and had the notion of never being alone. Truth learned was that until I was completely okay with ME, I realized I was alone while in these relationships. I point this out partially because now at age 41-years old, I am currently on my own; alone with me, myself and I.

Until recently, I was unclear as to what a healthy relationship consisted of so long as I had a boo, still lonely as hell with them. I still managed to have loved each one of them, including the ones who hurt me to my core (all of them).

In my learnings of myself, no relationship was as fulfilling as the one with myself and if this were a sermon, my relationship with God is amazing. I have both now and my life is great but it took lots of time and effort to get to this point. It wouldn’t be fair to me if I pretended that any of this was easy. It has been a difficult process. Ironically, for me, all the issues I mentioned above had to be revisited in the buildings of my relationship with God and MYSELF.

In short, I have been beat up by someone I once loved, I have been belittled, disrespected, embarrassed by being date-raped by someone I once loved. I realize this may sound horrible but, at the time, amid these relationships, it wasn’t so much horrible as it was normal. The normal rocky road of relationships. I mean, yes, there were moments I felt horrible; however, seemingly recovered rather quickly. I forgave a lot without pause. Desperation took me there. The problem came to surface when I felt like I was giving my all, despite the issues, and didn’t feel as though I had all of my mate. It was like, I had to always be the one to take responsibility for any wrong doing I may have done, but, when it came to the one hurting me, they always found some justification for it. I accepted it. Well guess what Kash? If a person gave you all of them, what are they left with for themselves? I thought the idea of giving all or nothing or getting all or nothing made for a great relationship. Now maybe, if we were to start talking marriage and the exchanging of vows, the details could change a bit.

I wanna focus a little on FOREGIVENESS. I recently finished reading a book that took some time to get through as I am not an avid reader. But, this book, Supernatural Relationships ~ How to Get Closer to the People You Care For by Ed Gungor, teaches the Godly way of dealing with all kinds of relationships. According to Ed, “forgiveness protects our lives from Satan’s strategy by violently opposing the evil that tries to enter after an offense comes.” Basically, by forgiving, I released to the negativity I was holding on to. (toward them and myself) I had to learn after years of dwelling on all the situations that had wronged me and the same for all things for which I wronged, it was time to forgive. Forgive others even if they did not ask to be forgiven. I had to forgive MYSELF as God already done, even if I did not know it. Point is, I learned this as another lesson in life.

This book struck several chords because it was these concepts I came to understand by listening to what my spirit was already telling me for I now know it was coming from a place where God reveals his purpose chosen for MY life. I am not afraid to listen to it now! I believe in ME and that includes all the shit I’ve been through. It is true that I have made many mistakes (some bigger than others) and that I had to understand where the choices I made came from that led to such mistakes. The negative Nancy in me. It’s okay to make mistakes as life will prompt them but what’s not okay is not taking the time to get to know myself to prevent repeats, if possible.

Having low self-esteem, society decorated beliefs, faux rules to every situation and a non-belief of self-worth were all ingredients to a recipe distasteful to me and God didn’t appreciate it very much, lol. He showed me just how so. I’ve cheated and been cheated on, I’ve been hurt and I have hurt, I’ve loved and been loved. A cycle in my life that has taught me so many things but most importantly is how not understanding forgiveness and not willing to give the opportunity to move on can make life quite miserable. Something else Ed said that resonated with me is, “the responsibility to heal broken relationships is not to be left to the one who wrinkled the relationship, but responsibility belongs to the one who is aware of the conflict.” That would-be ME. My issue shouldn’t be with those who chose to leave me for whatever their reasoning, my issue is how I allowed it to negatively affect my growth. A growth I already lacked.

Life lied to me when love didn’t love me. I was fooled into believing that my happiness depended on who could create it for me in my life, especially if I did all I could to make them happy. Silly? Stupid? Naïve? Nope, love!

It’s okay for now because God loves me and I love me too.

Yup, I searched for love and hoped-for love to find me.

Feel free to share this post or comment below. Thank you for visiting! Not sure what’s up next to post but here’s an idea, how about you suggest a topic. Is there something you want to be heard on? Everyone has their own take on experiences and how one chooses to deal or not with them.

Life Lied…


Life lied to me when:  From a little girl, I always felt different. If I could describe the days I remembered as a child in one word it would be fear. I was a scared little girl. But, scared in a different way; I behaved the opposite. Now I know that may seem weird. It was like the things I did, I was afraid of but did anyway and ended up hurt in a way that in my new life (presently) I am just understanding how.

I started drinking alcohol at the very young age of ten years old. Alcohol easily became my coping mechanism. Then sex. Then work. Then now. Life. I lived life the best I could just like everyone else, sometimes I felt like I had to go a little harder. Like average was never enough. I don’t know who said average wasn’t good enough for me, especially when it seems like I always ended up having to settle or had to be satisfied with below average. It made me feel some fucking way. Life made me feel like a fucking joke. Going so hard for shit never mounted out to anything other than pain and sorrow; disappointment, frustration and envy.

You ever feel like your life just ain’t shit. I mean of course, you have family; children and a job, relationships with good times. I mean YOUR life. MY life just always felt like I was just floating through a maze and I did the best I could with my choices and decisions. But c’mon, am I the only in the world who felt like something just wasn’t right. I’ve come across the stories of transgenders, who speak of a feeling of difference. I’ve heard of people with certain mental defects speak of some sort of difference in their way of choice. For me, I felt like my life wasn’t shit nor was I ever good enough; but, it wasn’t supposed to feel that way.

Other people’s lives always looked like they would come out better than me, even dealing with similar situations. They’d be struggling just like me and seem to have more or something of what I wanted for me and mines. Certainly, during these stages in my life, I didn’t understand it all. I was just floating. Never feeling the security of the ground beneath my feet. Always going extra hard to strive for the best. The best for me. The best apartments, clothes, jobs, kids, bank account. The best relationships. For ME. Somehow, it got turned into the best for others. In my mind that is. I tried to be the best forever other than me. The best mom. The best daughter. The best sibling. The best student. The best girlfriend. The best employee. You get the idea, rite? I enjoyed the ride. It became the normal, just a way of life. I wanted to do most of what I did; however, it wasn’t the best of me. It was what I thought was the best I could give. Whatever the fuck that means. Anyway, moving forward, I will share the difference. I am now living in the best version of me, a better me. I’m still learning because we will always learning something each day. Why? Or How? You may wonder, well, it’s because it’s a new day that we aren’t able to predict. I didn’t know how good it feels or better it feels being ME. For ME. I am taking the time to learn about me, reflecting on the me I used to be versus now. It’s crazy similar; however, just knowing it’s about me, feels incredible.  

I’ve written various pieces describing many different stages in my life and lessons I have learned. As I continue to share, it will become evident that what I thought my life would be and what I always worked toward turned out to be nothing as I imagined. Yet, it did. And, what I’ve learned in whole is life lied to me but God didn’t.

Have you realized life lessons are powerful? care to share any of your life lessons?

Next will be about some relationship shit I have learned. Now I got stories for days but I will keep it real and brief.



Continued from The Triumph Within Tharisse