Tag Archives: chronic illness

Tip of the day! ((Reblog))

 

There are millions of people across the world who suffer from anxiety and depression. Whether it’s a constant issue or pops up at certain times in life, it can be difficult to dig yourself out of the hole. Even if you’re aware of it, dealing with anxiety and depression isn’t easy. Thankfully, there are some […]

via 5 Ways to Avoid Anxiety and Depression — simple Ula

Life Lesson Learning #5

 

Shut Da’ Fuck Up?

Having been brought up in older times far from today, I can recall being taught to “only speak when spoken to.” Then there was, “some things are best left unsaid, there is a time and place for everything and the most known today, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.”
Who started this shit anyways? Now, I consider myself respectful, but c’mon on now, really? You mean to tell me that if someone is speaking to me in a way I consider to be disrespectful, I shouldn’t say anything until the moment they are done. By which time, I may not even feel worthy enough to speak against them. Yes, contradiction intervenes. In a prior post, I mentioned briefly on allowing others to finish speaking before interjecting or responding. Yes, this is part of my learning to communicate effectively; however like most situations in life, there is a very fine line that distinguishes one thing from another.
This lesson expands communication. I am a talker, a motor-mouth and a dramatic speaker. These are a few of the labels, I was groomed to wear. Why? Because this is what I recall others saying about me. Others constantly labeling me, not realizing the harm or benefit it may cause.

Balance is crucial. I even remember the moment; I lost my confidence in what I had to say. It was a highly, debatable topic. (No need to specify) The conversation was intense. It was conversation among family members. We were close and talked all the time about life and the diverse situations we found ourselves in. Anyhow, as I was making my point, being as long winded as I am when speaking, one of my older (than me) fellow conversationalists shouted out, “She contradicted herself, oh my goodness she contradicted herself.” Now pardon me for a moment, as I go back to my pre-learned phase, I briefly thought to myself how, how did I contradict myself? I know what I’m talking about here. Shit, the conversation was about a situation I was in. Here’s the thing, I didn’t really understand what the word contradiction meant, I only thought of it as a negative word, indicating a person not knowing what they were talking about. At the time, I interpreted the word to be in the same class as lying. No way was I necessarily lying, maybe I just had mixed feelings; no way was I trying to contradict myself. I was simply presenting my case and responding in accordance to the responses I received. In life, there a little this and a little that. Different responses, different perspectives/opinions, different beliefs/morals. It was a great talk; however, it made me feel a way. A way that stuck to me like glue, I never said it stopped me from talking but I definitely didn’t speak up for myself in relevance to future matters. When I found out the true meaning of contradiction, (long after that conversation) I realized it was okay. I presented my perspective at that time. The point isn’t whether or not I contradicted myself; what matters is I need to choose my words carefully when speaking with others. I didn’t take the time to listen to them nor myself. I just spoke.

First of all, I feel there is a difference in speaking with and speaking to others. Listening is important. Speaking with gives you more time to listen; while speaking to doesn’t allow much listening time, therefore, feedback is pretty useful at times. (Sometimes not so much)

So, in this particular lesson, I’ve learned when and when not to shut ‘da fuck up. We must be careful when it comes to our communication with others and with ourselves. I understand how life can seem so overwhelming; too much shit to beware of, too much (negative) shit not to worry about. No one wants to walk around paranoid, rite? Also it can be a bit annoying to always see the sunny side (positivity) in everything.

Reflecting back to that particular conversation, which has allowed me to gain a sense of confidence in what I say and when I say it. Maybe they knew what the meaning of the word was? Maybe not. Did they just have to be right just because they were older? Maybe not. Did I overreact? Maybe. There is no way of knowing any of that before hand. It’s like that with lots of circumstances in my life. I just don’t know. (Another lesson of not knowing everything)

What I do know is, the more I continue to learn, the more confidence I am regaining in regards to speaking with people. The more I am learning just when to shut up, I am learning that listening can be the most important part of a conversation. It has also allowed me to gain an understanding of the different perspectives we have in the world. I wonder how much we as a society could accomplish towards better days if we just learn effective (non-violent) ways of communicating. Modern day style.

For one, we all can learn a thing or two from each other. When you are not clear on something, asking questions can sometimes aid in gaining a clearer understanding. Not all of us learn on the same level or in the same capacity. I have learned to take responsibility for my own part in what I am learning. Some of you may agree that we learn things from each other all the time, everyday, (Youtubers, social media pros, television blogging, books, etc.) all on a variety of levels. Again, there is a redundancy going on here. On purpose, I have to keep telling myself things of a positive nature just to gain a balance. I can only speak for myself in saying, my life has indeed been filled with many situations, others may or may not have agreed with or understood. It’s life you guys, learning and learning to listen and sometimes staying away from what some may be teaching. My life lesson #5 I am learning to just shut da’ fuck up, but I also am learning that there may be times when I should speak up. Sub-lesson to all, just recently learned. Maybe my sharing isn’t meant to help anyone at all. Could it be just helping me? Maybe.
I am just sharing. Sharing just because.

Here I share an article from one of my favorite blogs:  The Balance  and a previous post I did about contradicting:  My Own Perspective

Thanks for visiting! This will conclude 5 life lessons I’ve learned thus far. Look out for my E-Book which will include lessons shared by others too. I’m excited to be including other perspectives on this project.  #Time2WakeUp

If you have a valuable life lesson you’d like to share, please do! You will be shocked by the many of perspectives we have in the world. Your voice matters!

Life Lesson Learning #4

Hey you! Yes you, wassup! I hope all is well and if you feel it isn’t in whatever capacity. It can and will get better.

I was sitting here in a moment of pity myself, honestly because I’m broke til it ain’t no joke; however, I will be okay. I am okay. I have an amazing daughter, a family who loves and supports me; and a warm heart. It’s a start.

This human-like moment of weakness led me yet again, to rely on my God given strength. Did I mention, strength is something I am just being awakened to?

So this brings me to my life lesson #4 learned, wake up! This covers a broad spectrum. We all have within us what God intended us to have in order to fulfill his purpose for our lives and this is to spread the acceptance of His presence and encourage others to draw closer to Him. Now, keeping in mind that we are nowhere near perfect people, but we are all human and we all need love, support and WATER. Sure, there are many other things that you can fill a notebook, if you were to list them out and that maybe so for you as an individual; however, as a human being that list gets minimized to a half of a page.
Still in mind, the fact that we all have the power of choice, it is up to me as to what’s important and not so important to me but I highly encourage a second thought and again wake up. My saying “wake up” is my way of expressing how coming into an awakening of my self-image, self-love, self-awareness and self-respect has changed my life completely and it feels incredible. No, I haven’t been cured of any of my ailments in the flesh; however, my spirit has been repaired and now leads my life. I understand that I can only speak for myself and that’s the point. I am asking what if we all woke up and smelled ourselves (not roses), maybe we can take the time to change/improve our scent to what we want it to be and not some artificial, cheap ass shit somebody else drenched us in. There will be those who are attracted to scents that I may not find appealing and that should be okay. There will be scents that I never smelled before, that I may happen to like (maybe even try for myself) and that should be okay. What if I smelled a way that was offensive to someone else’s liking; unintentionally of course? Should I just assume, because they express their opinion, they were trying to hurt me or make an ass out of me or disrespect me? (there may be some cases of which)

My point here is, if it weren’t for me waking up, I would not have been made aware of who I am and the blessing of time and power of choice to be who I want to be. Choose to be. Chosen to be (sanitized and deordorized)

A better me! Yay, it’s possible! And so can YOU if you choose to. If you choose to wake up. It may turn out that you need help with that, when He feels it’s time and that’s where lessons of life step in. It’s okay to help one another for the better good and it’s my choice to believe in that. (again my own perspective)

I will continue to work to be who I was meant to be and stepping into my own shoes because they fit well, I can try out other shoes and even provide feedback but my own shoes are the shoes I was born with and as I grow they will too but I still get to wear them and I choose to leave positive impressions in the earth as I journey my purpose and so they are there if anyone should need some direction along their journeys and they get to leave their own impressions and on and so forth. The world goes round and round, getting better or worse. My directions and impressions that were left for me I can choose to follow or I can choose to create my own. At the end of the day, I want to be able to say that if you are inspired by my examples, then I am doing what I should be doing because I now know where I’m headed and that’s walking forward guided by His light.

Mistakes are that of my own, in life we make our own mistakes. They are what helps us in learning life’s lessons.

Thank you all for visiting.  I would appreciate all forms of support including prayers, shares, comments and as always, if you’d like to share a life lesson of your own, go ahead and drop it in the comment section.

Do you want in on repairing our broken society?

Do you choose to wake up?

 

 

Still awake at 3am

Hey guys, I know it’s been a while but here I am. How’s everyone doing?

It’s 3am and I am awake. (Insomnia sucks!)

Staring at the ceiling wondering what my life would be like without the sicknesses, without pain, without the gloom of loneliness. So I decided to write.

Ever wonder what your life would like if you didn’t have that dark cloud hovering over you?

Well let me see, although it’s hard to imagine my life any different; I would like to think it would free. I would be free. Free to dream, free to explore, free to love and certainly  free to work. I felt like I was held captive by pain.

When you are challenged to live in constant pain, your response is to try and fight back. What does that little voice inside you say? Does it try and convince you that you can handle it? Does it often remind you that you’re human and it’s ok to feel and that it will pass soon?

But what if it doesn’t. You must find a way to alleviate it, rite? You’ve tried all sorts of remedies. Time to get your mind in the game and pray your physical being falls in line.

I am learning to refocus my energy away from the things/thoughts that bring me negative feelings. I want to share my experience with those that are at the end of their ropes. I have created a MeetUp group for people living with chronic pain. I chose to dedicate it to persons with symptoms of nerve damage but all pain relief seekers are welcomed. We will share ideas and discover effective ways of coping.

Providing helpful support, encouraging others and allowing my journey to set an example of hope brings me great joy. It’s what I have found to be a positive shift in energy.

There’s no doubt we all will have bad days but you deserve some good ones too.

Join in on a Skype meeting usually held on Saturdays at 5pm Est and you may discover a positive distraction that works well for you. Maybe you’d like to share something that can be helpful to another. Either way, we’d love to have you.

It’s free to join the group. Sign up here: MeetUp .

Contradictions! Annoying?

Hey guys, hope all is well!

Today I am sharing some of life’s contradictions I have found to be annoying and confusing. As I have decided to share personal experiences with you all, these are my personal opinions. I am in no way judging anyone or anyone’s way of thinking. We are all works in progress, myself included, and so if you find contradiction in anything I post then that is my intended point. Here we go:

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#1  There are so many messages circulating the world about not giving up. “Never give up on your dreams.” “Keep Pushing.”  Well what about the sayings of, “Know when to throw the towel in.” “Enough is Enough.” Oh, and my favorite “Knowing when to walk away is wisdom. Being able to is Courage.”  Now I’m not sure about anyone else but this confusing the hell out of me. As I am trying my damnedest to hold on and keep fighting the good fight. I am trying to pursue a journey of success that I never thought was possible. But because of those sayings of, “If you could Imagine it, You could Achieve it.” “Never give up Dreaming.”  I feel as though I am on a hamster wheel. Chasing my own tail. I have prayed on it and truly believe I am supposed to be doing a good service to others by sharing my personal experiences of beating the odds and overcoming some difficult life challenges. To help others who may be trapped in their darkness. I must admit, this shit is exhausting. I am drained and it doesn’t seem as if anyone care what I must say, let alone is inspired in anyway. So, my question is, do I throw the towel in? It wouldn’t necessarily be due to giving up but more so saving myself from destruction. I am wearing myself out trying to be a voice for those of unheard voices. Are you depressed, newly disabled or just feel like no one sees you, hear you? I don’t think I am the only one who fits the bill but I could always be wrong. I shouldn’t give up just because it seems as if nothing is happening, rite? I never know who is watching and maybe I am here for a reason not yet revealed to me as I thought it was.

#2   Next we have “Never say Never.” Ummmm, if I’m not mistaken, this refers to anything being possible. To never say what you won’t do or won’t say because you may someday find yourself doing it or saying it, rite? Sooooo, if I am never to give up then how in the heck am I supposed to know when to walk away. This is a similar confusion as mentioned in #1. Help me out folks, let’s talk about it. Now don’t get it twisted, I am a believer of all these especially never say never. Example: I NEVER thought I would have written a book and people have actually read it and thought it was pretty damn great. Whoa! Me? Really? YES me, I wrote a fuckin book. A story of both weakness and strength! The Triumph In Me.

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#3   This is recap of a previous post I did on life’s contradictions. Maybe you’d agree or maybe you won’t. It’s okay; that’s what makes us different, rite?

There are no special instructions on how to cope with the extremes of life but there are certain remedies that can lessen the mass affects.

I have found that prayer is the #1 key to my life. I am not about to preach the word however I am a witness to its glory. Life is hard, it’s just that simple but if we learn to utilize some hardcore combat, it can be quite enjoyable too.

Selflessness for starters can take you a long way. The idea of treating others the way you would want to be treated is an important aspect but it tends to get lost within our typical behavior. If you can consider helping another individual, no matter how direct or indirect it may be, without regard to reciprocation, I can assure you, that help will find its way back around in some shape or form. Karma you may call it, that saying of “what goes around comes back around”, yes, I believe in that saying however its plenty of old wise tales that go hand in hand for instance, “you reap what you sow” or how about “every dog has its day”, so keep these old wise tales in mind when making decisions in life.

Selfishness is that behavior that can make or break you in a sense, it is a very fine line not to cross, so be careful. Remember that “God only helps those who help themselves,” they say, but that’s a fine line because he is so merciful that he will be of rescue despite of, however you must know that you have to look out for yourself first before you can expect the next person to follow suit. If you can learn that loving yourself is as worthy as loving another including your children, then life’s perception will be that much more clear to see. Yes, I said love yourself even before your children because a parent that does not love themselves will impact the lives of their children in ways that aren’t always positive and although these impacts are not intentional will not make them nonexistent. Same case for your partner in life be it a spouse or just a significant other, ask yourself “how can you possibly expect to have a healthy relationship when you are not even healthy enough to love yourself?”
Today, we see all kinds of contradictions in our entertainment, politics and education. I am not in the best position to speak on all the details of such, I will leave that to all the other blogs out there that somehow specialize in those areas. I will say though we are blinded by this stuff and easily to forget how our own minds and the resulted behavior of which we live day to day becomes insulting, demeaning and subliminally destructive. We destruct the hope and possibilities of sustaining healthy, fulfilling, enjoyable lives.

Now there may be many to disagree or feel as though without an extended education or have earned a mastering degree, who the hell am I to speak to such manners. Well I am me, and I am living a life in this world we all were born into and so I have earned a degree in “LIFE” and these are my personal opinions and my voice in which I choose not to leave unheard any longer.  I am finally taking ownership and responsibility of myself and who I once was and now have become, we all are a work in progress and must recognize that and learn to appreciate it as well.

Your voice, rightfully given to you. It is the tool in life of which you should want to learn its value if you haven’t already. Respect yourself and others no matter what because once respect is lost anything goes from that point. Just think a minute how you treat those you have no respect for, how you speak to them, how you view them, how they lost their creditability with you. Now imagine you not having respect for yourself and the behaviors others may inflict on you. Not so pretty rite?

As I share my story with you, there will be moments when you will say that I’ve contradicted myself during various times in my life and that my parenting may even seem contradicting as well, but hey that’s the way of the world, life is full of contradictions, so before you pass judgment on me, I suggest you clean your mirror off most importantly and then take a glimpse in it.

As life taught me its lessons and as I learned what faith was, I passed it along to my only born child and as you follow my story, our story, it will become apparent that this bond between mother and child was created in such a way that it is not easily understood by many. God created us and our story before we fleshly existed and so it has come to me that who am I to be “selfish” and not share the power of his glory. This is my “selfless” duty.

When my destiny became visible to me, I always thought my daughter was my reason for existing until I learned and grew as a person. Now I know she is just part of me. Not all of me. I will share my experiences, the lessons taught to me and the impact of such. It is my hopes you find this story not only inspiring but also necessary. It will depict how even when faced with the most challenging obstacles, we must fight like hell and continue. We all have our stories of our lives and it is these stories that make the world what it is…So if we can be mindful of what and how we perceive life to be and follow through with positive mannerism, maybe, just maybe things can be different.williamarthurward110017

If you are one who thinks no one cares or is interested in anything you have to say, I do!

Feel free to leave your comments below. If its worth you sharing then by all means pass it along on your social media. Until we meet again guys! Thank you for visiting!

My Process: As promised

 

FINAL COVER

 

So as promised, this Self Publishing journey has been quite the ride and it is still progressing.
It all began as a single thought; more like a question. I found myself questioning my life. With everything I had been going through health wise, mentally and emotionally. The question posed was, “What am I still here for?” or “What is my purpose?” I am sure I am not the only one who has ever posed these questions on themselves, but I was truly lost. I felt like I had raised my daughter well enough to where she can pursue her life with some provided fundamental tools. Because she was all my life had been about, I no longer am able to be in the workforce, I have decided to not be in any intimate relationships, now what?
In the midst of these questions being raised, a single thought struck me; which led to more thoughts. After continuous prayer, I came to the conclusion that I must share. Sharing is caring they say and since I care about people, here I am.
We all have experiences that we go through in life, some preventable and some inevitable. It is our duty to recognize what God created us to become whatever it is he willed for us. Sometimes it takes a whole lot of life to get us to that point. If and when he grants you that day, it is a sense of clarity almost indescribable. I’d like to consider it enlightenment.
I began writing because there was so much built up emotion about various situations; it caused a creative flow that I couldn’t turn off. My head and my heart was soooo heavy. He did that. He made me this way for a reason and so I began to share.
When I was asked what inspired me. My answer was simple, LIFE is what inspired me. What my life has been about. What my life has not been about. How is it that I am still here while others I have lost are not. Other lives around me. Other lives I know nothing about. My point is there were so many things to draw from and it took him to show me.
My 1st book THE TRIUMPH IN ME, focuses on a young girl with a negative perception, she didn’t even realize that’s what it was til later during her adult years. Her life was filled with challenge after challenge after challenge as most others’ lives are, however, this particular young lady had her unique journey that God created just for her and so she shares her life experiences.
As the author I combined lots of devastating issues not easily spoken about because I hoped to make my debut by delivering a powerful message to inspire those who may need some inspiration in their lives. I must admit I wasn’t completely sure if I was on the right track by writing but it looks as if I was, I am on the right track because it brings me joy to write for others to absorb. Does any of that make sense?
Here are the steps I took on my continuing journey as a self published author:

Figure out why do you want to write. What do you want to write about? And start writing. Keep in mind that when you begin writing, it may or may not make any sense. Keep writing.
Begin to mention what it is that you find yourself writing about or how it feels to be writing period. Maybe a blog or a notebook or straight to your pc, your choice.
I started with this blog with you all. I’ve made some pretty good contact with people who were able to relate to what was pouring from my heart. It actually encouraged me to keep going. There were many times I felt way outta my league; then someone I never even met had something to say about something I had written, that touched them. It was those little things that pushed me right along.
As my writing process continued, I began researching. I googled all types of stuff relating to the writing process all the way to publishing options. I watched so many Youtube videos. Here are links to some of my favs: VIDEO #1    VIDEO #2     VIDEO #3     VIDEO #4

It’s amazing how many people go through the very same things you go through all at different points of life, different parts of the world, all background types, like its crazy what you find when you take the time to look.
Once I was able to organize all the thoughts I had written, it became more like a story. I added and deleted, added and deleted some more. Before I knew it, I had a short story of about 10,000 words, and it made sense. I had my daughter, a friend of hers and a friend of mine read it. They were like “Oh my gosh, you wrote a story?” I was like, “I don’t know, did I?” And so that my friends is how I ended up with a 1st draft of my book.
Now you guys who have been following me for a while know that I am physically challenged and so I must take intermissions. I will continue the details of my journey on another post. Stay tuned! Oh yeah, let me know your thoughts so far by commenting below. Talk to me guys, I wanna interact with you. I promise I am a nice person. 🙂

Launch Day!

Hello fellow bloggers!

Today I am proud to present to you the KINDLE version of a very special project.

As many of you know, I am at battle with multiple disabling conditions but throughout it all I do my best to persevere as I encourage those who can relate.

Though this project has been difficult, it is my honor to share this accomplishment with you.

I ask for your support by purchasing this Ebook; however your willingness to share it by hitting a social media button below means just as much to me.

Join in on spreading the word of awareness!

***Paperback version will be available soon***

If you are interested in a paperback  PRE-ORDER option, please email me for further details, otherwise THANK YOU in advance for your purchase and ENJOY the read.

WELCOME TO THE TRIUMPH IN ME  

 

https://www.amazon.com/Triumph-Me-Kashinda-T-Marche-ebook/dp/B01GDSIJRS/