Tag Archives: chronic pain

Tip of the day! ((Reblog))

 

There are millions of people across the world who suffer from anxiety and depression. Whether it’s a constant issue or pops up at certain times in life, it can be difficult to dig yourself out of the hole. Even if you’re aware of it, dealing with anxiety and depression isn’t easy. Thankfully, there are some […]

via 5 Ways to Avoid Anxiety and Depression — simple Ula

Life Lesson Learning #5

 

Shut Da’ Fuck Up?

Having been brought up in older times far from today, I can recall being taught to “only speak when spoken to.” Then there was, “some things are best left unsaid, there is a time and place for everything and the most known today, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.”
Who started this shit anyways? Now, I consider myself respectful, but c’mon on now, really? You mean to tell me that if someone is speaking to me in a way I consider to be disrespectful, I shouldn’t say anything until the moment they are done. By which time, I may not even feel worthy enough to speak against them. Yes, contradiction intervenes. In a prior post, I mentioned briefly on allowing others to finish speaking before interjecting or responding. Yes, this is part of my learning to communicate effectively; however like most situations in life, there is a very fine line that distinguishes one thing from another.
This lesson expands communication. I am a talker, a motor-mouth and a dramatic speaker. These are a few of the labels, I was groomed to wear. Why? Because this is what I recall others saying about me. Others constantly labeling me, not realizing the harm or benefit it may cause.

Balance is crucial. I even remember the moment; I lost my confidence in what I had to say. It was a highly, debatable topic. (No need to specify) The conversation was intense. It was conversation among family members. We were close and talked all the time about life and the diverse situations we found ourselves in. Anyhow, as I was making my point, being as long winded as I am when speaking, one of my older (than me) fellow conversationalists shouted out, “She contradicted herself, oh my goodness she contradicted herself.” Now pardon me for a moment, as I go back to my pre-learned phase, I briefly thought to myself how, how did I contradict myself? I know what I’m talking about here. Shit, the conversation was about a situation I was in. Here’s the thing, I didn’t really understand what the word contradiction meant, I only thought of it as a negative word, indicating a person not knowing what they were talking about. At the time, I interpreted the word to be in the same class as lying. No way was I necessarily lying, maybe I just had mixed feelings; no way was I trying to contradict myself. I was simply presenting my case and responding in accordance to the responses I received. In life, there a little this and a little that. Different responses, different perspectives/opinions, different beliefs/morals. It was a great talk; however, it made me feel a way. A way that stuck to me like glue, I never said it stopped me from talking but I definitely didn’t speak up for myself in relevance to future matters. When I found out the true meaning of contradiction, (long after that conversation) I realized it was okay. I presented my perspective at that time. The point isn’t whether or not I contradicted myself; what matters is I need to choose my words carefully when speaking with others. I didn’t take the time to listen to them nor myself. I just spoke.

First of all, I feel there is a difference in speaking with and speaking to others. Listening is important. Speaking with gives you more time to listen; while speaking to doesn’t allow much listening time, therefore, feedback is pretty useful at times. (Sometimes not so much)

So, in this particular lesson, I’ve learned when and when not to shut ‘da fuck up. We must be careful when it comes to our communication with others and with ourselves. I understand how life can seem so overwhelming; too much shit to beware of, too much (negative) shit not to worry about. No one wants to walk around paranoid, rite? Also it can be a bit annoying to always see the sunny side (positivity) in everything.

Reflecting back to that particular conversation, which has allowed me to gain a sense of confidence in what I say and when I say it. Maybe they knew what the meaning of the word was? Maybe not. Did they just have to be right just because they were older? Maybe not. Did I overreact? Maybe. There is no way of knowing any of that before hand. It’s like that with lots of circumstances in my life. I just don’t know. (Another lesson of not knowing everything)

What I do know is, the more I continue to learn, the more confidence I am regaining in regards to speaking with people. The more I am learning just when to shut up, I am learning that listening can be the most important part of a conversation. It has also allowed me to gain an understanding of the different perspectives we have in the world. I wonder how much we as a society could accomplish towards better days if we just learn effective (non-violent) ways of communicating. Modern day style.

For one, we all can learn a thing or two from each other. When you are not clear on something, asking questions can sometimes aid in gaining a clearer understanding. Not all of us learn on the same level or in the same capacity. I have learned to take responsibility for my own part in what I am learning. Some of you may agree that we learn things from each other all the time, everyday, (Youtubers, social media pros, television blogging, books, etc.) all on a variety of levels. Again, there is a redundancy going on here. On purpose, I have to keep telling myself things of a positive nature just to gain a balance. I can only speak for myself in saying, my life has indeed been filled with many situations, others may or may not have agreed with or understood. It’s life you guys, learning and learning to listen and sometimes staying away from what some may be teaching. My life lesson #5 I am learning to just shut da’ fuck up, but I also am learning that there may be times when I should speak up. Sub-lesson to all, just recently learned. Maybe my sharing isn’t meant to help anyone at all. Could it be just helping me? Maybe.
I am just sharing. Sharing just because.

Here I share an article from one of my favorite blogs:  The Balance  and a previous post I did about contradicting:  My Own Perspective

Thanks for visiting! This will conclude 5 life lessons I’ve learned thus far. Look out for my E-Book which will include lessons shared by others too. I’m excited to be including other perspectives on this project.  #Time2WakeUp

If you have a valuable life lesson you’d like to share, please do! You will be shocked by the many of perspectives we have in the world. Your voice matters!

Life Lesson Learning #4

Hey you! Yes you, wassup! I hope all is well and if you feel it isn’t in whatever capacity. It can and will get better.

I was sitting here in a moment of pity myself, honestly because I’m broke til it ain’t no joke; however, I will be okay. I am okay. I have an amazing daughter, a family who loves and supports me; and a warm heart. It’s a start.

This human-like moment of weakness led me yet again, to rely on my God given strength. Did I mention, strength is something I am just being awakened to?

So this brings me to my life lesson #4 learned, wake up! This covers a broad spectrum. We all have within us what God intended us to have in order to fulfill his purpose for our lives and this is to spread the acceptance of His presence and encourage others to draw closer to Him. Now, keeping in mind that we are nowhere near perfect people, but we are all human and we all need love, support and WATER. Sure, there are many other things that you can fill a notebook, if you were to list them out and that maybe so for you as an individual; however, as a human being that list gets minimized to a half of a page.
Still in mind, the fact that we all have the power of choice, it is up to me as to what’s important and not so important to me but I highly encourage a second thought and again wake up. My saying “wake up” is my way of expressing how coming into an awakening of my self-image, self-love, self-awareness and self-respect has changed my life completely and it feels incredible. No, I haven’t been cured of any of my ailments in the flesh; however, my spirit has been repaired and now leads my life. I understand that I can only speak for myself and that’s the point. I am asking what if we all woke up and smelled ourselves (not roses), maybe we can take the time to change/improve our scent to what we want it to be and not some artificial, cheap ass shit somebody else drenched us in. There will be those who are attracted to scents that I may not find appealing and that should be okay. There will be scents that I never smelled before, that I may happen to like (maybe even try for myself) and that should be okay. What if I smelled a way that was offensive to someone else’s liking; unintentionally of course? Should I just assume, because they express their opinion, they were trying to hurt me or make an ass out of me or disrespect me? (there may be some cases of which)

My point here is, if it weren’t for me waking up, I would not have been made aware of who I am and the blessing of time and power of choice to be who I want to be. Choose to be. Chosen to be (sanitized and deordorized)

A better me! Yay, it’s possible! And so can YOU if you choose to. If you choose to wake up. It may turn out that you need help with that, when He feels it’s time and that’s where lessons of life step in. It’s okay to help one another for the better good and it’s my choice to believe in that. (again my own perspective)

I will continue to work to be who I was meant to be and stepping into my own shoes because they fit well, I can try out other shoes and even provide feedback but my own shoes are the shoes I was born with and as I grow they will too but I still get to wear them and I choose to leave positive impressions in the earth as I journey my purpose and so they are there if anyone should need some direction along their journeys and they get to leave their own impressions and on and so forth. The world goes round and round, getting better or worse. My directions and impressions that were left for me I can choose to follow or I can choose to create my own. At the end of the day, I want to be able to say that if you are inspired by my examples, then I am doing what I should be doing because I now know where I’m headed and that’s walking forward guided by His light.

Mistakes are that of my own, in life we make our own mistakes. They are what helps us in learning life’s lessons.

Thank you all for visiting.  I would appreciate all forms of support including prayers, shares, comments and as always, if you’d like to share a life lesson of your own, go ahead and drop it in the comment section.

Do you want in on repairing our broken society?

Do you choose to wake up?

 

 

My Life with Neuropathy

Hey guys, I know it has been forever since my last post but I promise it was all worth it. I needed to take some time to focus in on ME. I was feeling a little misguided and it caused me to panic. I have a high level of anxiety that I am working out now.

Anyhow, I decided to share what my life has been like living with Peripheral Neuropathy and how my dreams are really coming true. Seriously!

Here is:

Finding My Purpose

Yesterday, I remember wanting to seek out a reason why I was so hesitant to video stream a message of hope. Today, I’ve learned that I am still a work in progress and until I build that confidence, I can still share with you.

As I am in self-reflection mode, getting to know the real me; I think I love myself. I love ME! This may sound silly but I don’t recall a single time I may have felt that way about myself. Maybe some of you know just what I’m talking about. I used to did shit for people all the time. I simply did it just because. I helped anyone in any way I could because it took the focus off of myself. I really loved helping and although help was available to me as well; I couldn’t see it.

Life is not about what you want it to be; it’s about what you make it to be.

I decided to share my story because I hope to help someone who may need to hear it. Someone who needs to know that they are truly not alone. There are all types of support available if you just open your heart and your mind to it. Simple right? Hell no, it wasn’t; my life has been brutal. There were challenges I never would have wished on anyone. So I am here today to share with you how I found my purpose.

Here and you can comment or ask questions, offer suggestions or share an experience you would like to hear a different point of view from me. Someone who has been there and done that with a lot of different topics. (Not ALL topics but MANY)

I started a support group but we more than just an offering of support; it is a place where we share a terrible commonality and we share our experiences living in chronic pain provide different perspectives of a subject. My goal was to create a virtual meeting place where we could discuss ourselves and it then becomes a positive distraction. It allows us to vent and listen to others. In fact, most of the time during our one hour meets, we aren’t focused on our pain. Very importantly, we respect our individual views and interpretations.

It feels great to be meeting so many beautiful people who just need a little extra support.

So here’s a question. We love others right? Some unconditionally, but how many of us actually love ourselves. How many of you ever took the time to get to know yourselves as an adult. I think its safe to say that your not the same at age 27 that you were when you were 13. Most anyways. 🙂 It’s a fascinating experience when you take some time to reflect on your likes and dislikes, your morale, your beliefs. As we go through life we learn new things damn near everyday. We grow.

I can’t wait to share the process of finding my purpose. This will include my experiences with Chronic Pain/Illness (includes depression), my 20+ jobs, love & relationships, family, self-image and much more. So if you are in a place in life that you are not satisfied with, I will share how I completely turned my life into what I wanted it to be. Join me next time as I share some serious lessons learned and how they relate to who I am today.

Blessings to you all!  Remember to keep loving yourselves.

Still awake at 3am

Hey guys, I know it’s been a while but here I am. How’s everyone doing?

It’s 3am and I am awake. (Insomnia sucks!)

Staring at the ceiling wondering what my life would be like without the sicknesses, without pain, without the gloom of loneliness. So I decided to write.

Ever wonder what your life would like if you didn’t have that dark cloud hovering over you?

Well let me see, although it’s hard to imagine my life any different; I would like to think it would free. I would be free. Free to dream, free to explore, free to love and certainly  free to work. I felt like I was held captive by pain.

When you are challenged to live in constant pain, your response is to try and fight back. What does that little voice inside you say? Does it try and convince you that you can handle it? Does it often remind you that you’re human and it’s ok to feel and that it will pass soon?

But what if it doesn’t. You must find a way to alleviate it, rite? You’ve tried all sorts of remedies. Time to get your mind in the game and pray your physical being falls in line.

I am learning to refocus my energy away from the things/thoughts that bring me negative feelings. I want to share my experience with those that are at the end of their ropes. I have created a MeetUp group for people living with chronic pain. I chose to dedicate it to persons with symptoms of nerve damage but all pain relief seekers are welcomed. We will share ideas and discover effective ways of coping.

Providing helpful support, encouraging others and allowing my journey to set an example of hope brings me great joy. It’s what I have found to be a positive shift in energy.

There’s no doubt we all will have bad days but you deserve some good ones too.

Join in on a Skype meeting usually held on Saturdays at 5pm Est and you may discover a positive distraction that works well for you. Maybe you’d like to share something that can be helpful to another. Either way, we’d love to have you.

It’s free to join the group. Sign up here: MeetUp .