Tag Archives: enlightenment

Self-Awareness

Hey guys, this is how the start of my new happily ever after began.

There could be a million different reasons as to why a person can want to live a different lifestyle from their own. Perhaps, the lifestyle they have become accustomed to no longer fulfills them or maybe the change was forced upon them. It doesn’t really matter what the reasoning is; the choice is yours.

My personal experience has led me to the practicing of self-awareness.

By definition self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires.  I found this great article that explains the process in full details. Hope you find it helpful.  Self-Awareness has been a huge key to the transformation of my life.

As most of you have learned through some of my previous posts, I have been challenged with both mental & physical Illness, including losing my ability to walk. Depression has been a big struggle for me over the years. Medication therapy, psychotherapy and support groups are most effective when you commit to them. I never did. Some will say I brought the struggles on myself because help was available. Here was my problem: I didn’t even feel worth the effort. It didn’t matter if help was or wasn’t available; I never committed. I suffered with low self-esteem, lack of confidence and an overall negative outlook on life. I did not feel I was worth the effort. My relationships paid the price. How?  I was dependent upon others to provide me with self-worth. Sounds crazy, rite? Well it was easy. I looked for love, happiness and joy from others, such as my daughter. I felt I wasn’t capable of creating these emotions or experience them without the need of others. The funniest thing about it is that although the people closest to me tried to make me happy, it was never enough for me. I couldn’t seem to reach a sense of satisfaction. I was so hungry for love and happiness that it didn’t occur to me until more recently that the missing piece was self-love. I didn’t love myself and that is a steep hole to fill. My daughter has been the only one to love me unconditionally and I use “unconditionally” lightly. She had no problem with snapping me back to earth whenever I acted out in her presence. She would not allow me to embarrass either one of us, especially her. ☺ I love my daughter so much.

My ex girlfriend came damn close to filling me with love. Despite all the chaos I took her through, she still chose to love me. Now to make a long story short, she and I are no longer together. There were lots of lost trust, betrayal  and lies paired with a bit of fear that led to the ending of our happily ever after. Here is the point and not to dwell too much on the past but maybe if I had loved myself enough I may not have inflicted so much of that chaos on any of our lives.

Self-love is important. How else can you fully love another without loving yourself?

 

My Process continues

 

FINAL COVER

Hey guys,  I am back to fill you in on the continued process of my self-published journey.

The previous post left off at my completion of my 1st draft of THE TRIUMPH IN ME.

Now from this point everyone’s journey is different of course, so for me I let my 1st draft marinate for a minute and I just read it over and over and each time I read it I found myself creating more and more scenes. It actually increased from 10,000 words to 26,000 words. I had a complete story that I was satisfied with.

Now what? Is it ready to publish? Will anybody want to buy it? Is it interesting enough to satisfy an avid reader’s appetite? How in the hell am I supposed to know?

Well that’s what an editor is for and why you have what is called beta-readers. They can provide you with the feedback needed to shape your baby. Then you have a final manuscript ready to format for either E-Book or Paperback or both. I decided to format both. I’ve learned that there are those who prefer to read on their mobile devices and then you have those who prefer the traditional way; holding that physical book in their hands and feeling that flipping of the pages against their fingertips.

My journey was created long before I began writing. It was what my life has been that led me to the pen. Most of what I’ve learned is that money plays a big part in the self-publishing process; but it doesn’t necessarily have to. Most can be accomplished with an extra dash of creativity and lots of prayer. Sometimes a pinch of begging and pleading can help as well. I had no budget; $0 budget.

I was able to find an editor through Facebook groups I had joined. She was affordable and had a great reputation as far I could tell. I prayed on it (as mentioned in a previous post) and then I was hit with an idea that was so far from my mind.

A friend of mine asked me to start a publishing service with her and together we published my 1st book. Her business management education and background, her passion for helping others succeed, and her drive to become monetarily stable was all I needed to know to convince me to join forces. She advanced the start-up funds to get my book fully edited and the cover designed and I did the book formatting and layout.

We both marketed and promoted on our social media platforms, researched all aspects of the business and here I am proud to say that we have a damn good (maybe not perfect) but really good looking book that contains a powerful story within its pages.

Of course we are still learning as we all are or should be but I introduce to you:     book-logo

Here are the links to where you can sign up for updates, read our bios and of course purchase a copy straight from our WEBSITE which I will personally autograph and ship to you.

Follow us on TWITTER and INSTAGRAM and get exclusive updates on what’s happening with us. We will be taking submissions very soon.

Hope you enjoyed this post. I will be back with more!

Thank you for visiting and as always feel free to leave a comment!

 

My Process: As promised

 

FINAL COVER

 

So as promised, this Self Publishing journey has been quite the ride and it is still progressing.
It all began as a single thought; more like a question. I found myself questioning my life. With everything I had been going through health wise, mentally and emotionally. The question posed was, “What am I still here for?” or “What is my purpose?” I am sure I am not the only one who has ever posed these questions on themselves, but I was truly lost. I felt like I had raised my daughter well enough to where she can pursue her life with some provided fundamental tools. Because she was all my life had been about, I no longer am able to be in the workforce, I have decided to not be in any intimate relationships, now what?
In the midst of these questions being raised, a single thought struck me; which led to more thoughts. After continuous prayer, I came to the conclusion that I must share. Sharing is caring they say and since I care about people, here I am.
We all have experiences that we go through in life, some preventable and some inevitable. It is our duty to recognize what God created us to become whatever it is he willed for us. Sometimes it takes a whole lot of life to get us to that point. If and when he grants you that day, it is a sense of clarity almost indescribable. I’d like to consider it enlightenment.
I began writing because there was so much built up emotion about various situations; it caused a creative flow that I couldn’t turn off. My head and my heart was soooo heavy. He did that. He made me this way for a reason and so I began to share.
When I was asked what inspired me. My answer was simple, LIFE is what inspired me. What my life has been about. What my life has not been about. How is it that I am still here while others I have lost are not. Other lives around me. Other lives I know nothing about. My point is there were so many things to draw from and it took him to show me.
My 1st book THE TRIUMPH IN ME, focuses on a young girl with a negative perception, she didn’t even realize that’s what it was til later during her adult years. Her life was filled with challenge after challenge after challenge as most others’ lives are, however, this particular young lady had her unique journey that God created just for her and so she shares her life experiences.
As the author I combined lots of devastating issues not easily spoken about because I hoped to make my debut by delivering a powerful message to inspire those who may need some inspiration in their lives. I must admit I wasn’t completely sure if I was on the right track by writing but it looks as if I was, I am on the right track because it brings me joy to write for others to absorb. Does any of that make sense?
Here are the steps I took on my continuing journey as a self published author:

Figure out why do you want to write. What do you want to write about? And start writing. Keep in mind that when you begin writing, it may or may not make any sense. Keep writing.
Begin to mention what it is that you find yourself writing about or how it feels to be writing period. Maybe a blog or a notebook or straight to your pc, your choice.
I started with this blog with you all. I’ve made some pretty good contact with people who were able to relate to what was pouring from my heart. It actually encouraged me to keep going. There were many times I felt way outta my league; then someone I never even met had something to say about something I had written, that touched them. It was those little things that pushed me right along.
As my writing process continued, I began researching. I googled all types of stuff relating to the writing process all the way to publishing options. I watched so many Youtube videos. Here are links to some of my favs: VIDEO #1    VIDEO #2     VIDEO #3     VIDEO #4

It’s amazing how many people go through the very same things you go through all at different points of life, different parts of the world, all background types, like its crazy what you find when you take the time to look.
Once I was able to organize all the thoughts I had written, it became more like a story. I added and deleted, added and deleted some more. Before I knew it, I had a short story of about 10,000 words, and it made sense. I had my daughter, a friend of hers and a friend of mine read it. They were like “Oh my gosh, you wrote a story?” I was like, “I don’t know, did I?” And so that my friends is how I ended up with a 1st draft of my book.
Now you guys who have been following me for a while know that I am physically challenged and so I must take intermissions. I will continue the details of my journey on another post. Stay tuned! Oh yeah, let me know your thoughts so far by commenting below. Talk to me guys, I wanna interact with you. I promise I am a nice person. 🙂