Tag Archives: guest blogger

Life Lesson Learning #1

My name is Kashinda T. Marche and I am now found. I am creative, fast paced and opinionated. I am unapologetic. I have been blessed with motherhood and the sight of a newborn baby sleeping comfortably brings a sense of joy to my heart and to put a smile on the face of the elderly brings tears to my eyes. I am life. I have not always been aware of these things about myself. It wasn’t until trauma interrupted my process of happiness, which placed me in a space of confinement. Sounds like being convicted of a crime, rite? Well I am not criminal and I am not being punished, my life has been filled with lessons. Our lives as people are filled with lessons. It is expected that we learn from them and if we don’t get it right the first time around sometimes it comes around again and again, allowing us an opportunity to improve, to be improved. Are we all aware of this process? No, maybe not, but that’s what the power of sharing can be about. I wrote a book about a story of truth. It is a mother’s perspective of how understanding your truth and coming to an acceptance and moving forward. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not suggestive to airing all your dirty laundry but I have gained a perspective. A goal of mine is to develop and produce a panel discussing life lessons. This is based on experience, knowledge through research and life lessons learned, I am here to share.

The first lesson pertains to choices. It is important to understand that you were created with the gift of choice. Contrary to how society has configured us into believing we have no choice in certain situations, practically our lives. Again, because I can only base my opinion from the way I see things, I feel as if I was conditioned to lead a certain level of life. Substandard is what I’d add. However, because I now believe I have choices that can help direct me through life. I choose to share a part of myself to those who may need someone in their corner. Someone who understands what it’s like to be uncertain about which route to take to get the result desired in life. Someone who found themselves having to start from scratch time and time again. Someone to listen. Someone who can provide positive feedback but who also knows how beneficial negative feedback can be as well.

I have learned so much when it comes to choices it’s almost crazy. Let me be clear, I am not a trained mental professional.  I am aware of the fact that I can never be perfect and I do NOT know everything. We all have the power of choice but some of us forget or just aren’t aware. I still make tons of mistakes. It is a tough process but the result has been well worth it. I am free spirited, light hearted and purposed.

Naturally, we learn right from wrong, up from down, hot and cold which allows us to determine good and bad. Judgement. We are all capable of judging; we do it all the time, sometimes intentional. I am learning how to manage the choice of judgement, very important. It is not my place to judge anyone or anything unless I am placed into a situation that requires me to make a judgement call. I am learning to not always offer an opinion but to ask if it is needed or wanted.

So, my first life lesson I’d like to share with you is how I am learning that the choices I make is what leads my life. The will of God.

Sure, there will always be good and bad experiences to endure. I am no stranger to straight up heartbreaking, horrible to hear, impossible to accept situations. My life has been a true rollercoaster. How bout you?

Which brings me to my last point, looking in the mirror can be a frightening experience, especially if you start to notice things you don’t like. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t like me. It became a question of Who am I? Why am I here? What can I do to help others? I was searching for a meaning to my life. I didn’t think I had anything to offer those in need of help. I wasn’t aware of the help I needed. An array  of help. All I knew for certain is that I have always wanted to help. I had a hard time figuring out just how to do so. I finally think I’m on to something and so here I am.

Next post will be the second life lesson on the list. If you’d like to comment, feel free. Share it. Someone may need to be a part of this thread.

What is the biggest life lesson you’ve learned thus far?

Thank you for visiting!

Till next time, smiles and blessings to you.

Self-Awareness

Hey guys, this is how the start of my new happily ever after began.

There could be a million different reasons as to why a person can want to live a different lifestyle from their own. Perhaps, the lifestyle they have become accustomed to no longer fulfills them or maybe the change was forced upon them. It doesn’t really matter what the reasoning is; the choice is yours.

My personal experience has led me to the practicing of self-awareness.

By definition self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires.  I found this great article that explains the process in full details. Hope you find it helpful.  Self-Awareness has been a huge key to the transformation of my life.

As most of you have learned through some of my previous posts, I have been challenged with both mental & physical Illness, including losing my ability to walk. Depression has been a big struggle for me over the years. Medication therapy, psychotherapy and support groups are most effective when you commit to them. I never did. Some will say I brought the struggles on myself because help was available. Here was my problem: I didn’t even feel worth the effort. It didn’t matter if help was or wasn’t available; I never committed. I suffered with low self-esteem, lack of confidence and an overall negative outlook on life. I did not feel I was worth the effort. My relationships paid the price. How?  I was dependent upon others to provide me with self-worth. Sounds crazy, rite? Well it was easy. I looked for love, happiness and joy from others, such as my daughter. I felt I wasn’t capable of creating these emotions or experience them without the need of others. The funniest thing about it is that although the people closest to me tried to make me happy, it was never enough for me. I couldn’t seem to reach a sense of satisfaction. I was so hungry for love and happiness that it didn’t occur to me until more recently that the missing piece was self-love. I didn’t love myself and that is a steep hole to fill. My daughter has been the only one to love me unconditionally and I use “unconditionally” lightly. She had no problem with snapping me back to earth whenever I acted out in her presence. She would not allow me to embarrass either one of us, especially her. ☺ I love my daughter so much.

My ex girlfriend came damn close to filling me with love. Despite all the chaos I took her through, she still chose to love me. Now to make a long story short, she and I are no longer together. There were lots of lost trust, betrayal  and lies paired with a bit of fear that led to the ending of our happily ever after. Here is the point and not to dwell too much on the past but maybe if I had loved myself enough I may not have inflicted so much of that chaos on any of our lives.

Self-love is important. How else can you fully love another without loving yourself?