Hey guys, I have been contemplating on starting a GoFundMe in order to assist in the purchase of a motorized wheelchair. Today I am sharing the link. Yes, I have decided to take the leap of faith and ASK for help. If you can help share the link I would be grateful. Any donations made are greatly appreciated!
Thank you in advance and stay tuned for more written pieces from me. Blessings to you all 😊
Click here to DONATE
Hey guys! Today is another one of those days on the battlefield, the battlefield of LIFE.
It’s no secret that I have decided to share the intimate details of my journey. I have admitted to struggling with the stability of my mental health as well as the decline in my physical abilities due to Peripheral Neuropathy otherwise known as nerve damage.
As I have been trying to take positive approaches towards bettering my life and gaining a confidence in the changes taking place, it has been extremely difficult fighting against the evils of giving up. I wish there were an easy way to transform oneself but the reality is there isn’t. My reality may be familiar or similar to many others and I try to connect with people to communicate helpful conversation. A conversation of hope but it doesn’t seem to be working.
So I shall continue to write. I will write what my heart chooses to say.
Tonight I am hurting. I am frustrated by the fact that my neuropathy is progressing faster than my mental can process it. I try to live by my message of optimism and never to give up but I am human. I am weakening. I ask God for the strength and endurance to get through my storms. I will write in hopes of relief. My words may or may not make much sense at times. The shitty thing about it all is that life at times doesn’t make much sense. Is there anyone out there who feel the same? Is there anyone out there who falls into the pit of darkness? I find myself begging for just a flicker of light in my darkness. I know it gets better but I just wish my better moments were more consistent. Is it okay to just sit in sorrow sometimes? The fight gets exhausting. People tell me all the time to keep fighting but sometimes I just rather not. I guess this is normal. What does that even mean? Normal? There is nothing normal about hating yourself one minute and trying to not the next. Oh yea, could that be the BiPolar in me? Maybe.
My next post will most likely be different than this one. Or not!
If you feel like saying something, please do. You MATTER!
Hey guys, today is one of those days. It is a day but not too good as far as my mood goes. I had a pretty decent day yesterday. I had my very 1st blog radio https://percolate.blogtalkradio.com/OffsitePlayer?hostId=980495&episodeId=9523211” target=”_blank”>Interview. It was awesome although I was nervous as hell. Tomorrow, Saturday will be my 2nd book signing event and sure I’m excited about that but today, I don’t know it’s just not a good day. So I just wanna share some random writing if you don’t mind.
My hands are in pain. My fingertips are numbing. It could be the neuropathy but oh well shit hurts like hell. I try to think positive thoughts but of course it’s still a struggle. Working so hard to be working so hard is literally killing me. Why? could it be because the power that be insist? Maybe. Did I mention my hands are in pain. Could it be that the rope aka life has me dangling mid air. I weigh in at about 180lbs. Imagine holding that rope so tight that you can no longer feel it. But then again it could be the neuropathy. I ask myself all the time, “Do you know what you’re doing?” My answer is always the same, “No!” I do know that I work so hard to work so hard. Even though the magnetic force has left my ten fingers, I mustn’t let go. Why? could it be because the powers that be insist? Maybe.
Don’t get me wrong, this is not a complaint. Oh no that wouldn’t be wise of me to do that. I am in no position to complain. I have far too many things to be grateful for, so many things to be thankful for. Why? could it be because the powers that be insist? Maybe.
Did I mention my hands are in pain. They are confused. Am I still mid air or have I slipped toward the lower? I ask myself all the time, “Do you know what you’re doing?” My answer remains the same. “No!” I do know I’m fighting. I’m fighting to hold on. Even though my hands are in pain. Even though I could be slipping. I’m still holding on. Why? It is because the powers that be insist.
Ever have that moment where you just wanna be something other than
Other than what is. Other than what isn’t. You just wanna be!
I often had moments where I knew I wanted to be something but couldn’t put my finger on what.
Even now in this very moment I know I just wanna be
I just wanna breathe and not feel like I’m drowning
I just wanna see and not be so blinded
I just wanna be loved and not feel so alone
I just wanna be free and not feel so held captive
I just wanna rise and not feel so weighed down
I just wanna live and not feel so dead
I JUST WANNA BE
anything? NO! Other than what is. Other than what isn’t.
I JUST WANNA BE
I decided to pop in and share with you all today just how difficult this whole process of getting my 1st book ready for release has been.
Today is just one of those days when I momentarily questioned what in the hell do I think I’m doing? I know I must practice what I preach by pushing through the rough patches and believing that things will get better if you strive toward it but damn I would never tell anyone or lead you to believe that it is easy. I face challenges every single day of my life whether it be showering, preparing myself something to eat or hell just pulling myself up outta bed. I am learning to adapt. Good days and not so good days are expected. No prob!
Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining but damn – damn – damn. I truly believed that the story I am sharing or trying to share was placed within me for this very reason. It may very well be my purpose in life to open up and share what life is like when faced with challenges and how you can overcome them by broadening your perception in certain areas, praying on a regular and basically believing in yourself that you can do and be better. I am trying really hard to hold on to my faith and hope but yeah today is just one of those days.
Trying to independently publish my 1st book with no money to invest in it is beyond difficult. It is seemingly impossible. I know I know nothing is impossible, all things are possible through Christ for he who strengthens me. Geesh that’s the scripture I chose to include in my book. lol
People, I am running into small details that no matter how I look at it or where I look for help, it cost. So what am I to do? All was going well til now. I am at the point in the process that I absolutely need a professional final edit before going to print and the rates are crazy high. I completely understand that peoples’ skills are valuable and therefore must be charged accordingly and so I will never ask anyone to just give me a freebie of their service. Sigh! I will continue to pray on it as I stare at my completed manuscript hoping it miraculously polishes itself into an outstanding piece of work that you all can enjoy as a great read but to also get inspired to pull the bullshit life that maybe holding you down by the horns and get on board with transforming into a pleasurable life living being.
Well that’s all for now, stay tuned for further updates on The Triumph In Me!
A journey to success! Success=Living
Thank you for visiting!
Networking can be a daunting task. Meeting new people. Building relationships with like-minded individuals with the uncertainty of being accepted or even taken seriously. I have more than one goal I am working towards. My journey just so happens runs parallel with my daughter’s journey. Not to say that it’s a race but more like a buddy system. If it wasn’t for her starting on her journey to success, I wouldn’t be on mine. She motivated me to go after my own goal instead of dedicating myself to assist her in pursuing hers. We, Asia and I are bound to get to that finish line. We will continue to bounce off each other’s energy, pull one another along during times of lag or discouragement and most importantly encourage one another to keep going. We are a mother-daughter tag team system. I am less physically able than my daughter due to extensive nerve damage but just knowing that she believes in me and my creative abilities is all the strength I need to keep on keeping on. My ultimate goal is to inspire anyone who feels trapped in their own darkness. Dreams aren’t diminished just because you become disabled. Life’s obstacles may block us, but it can be just temporarily. There is always a detour route to be taken, you must learn where to look.
Will you support the building of my network? You can become a part of it just by sharing this blog to your social media. Just click on the appropriate button below. Feel free to reblog any of my previous posts as well to your already established blogs. I believe in you all and appreciate the sharing of your personal experiences. I also appreciate the valuable information you share as well.
Let’s continue to show support of each other’s part contributed to this huge network called the WORLD! Remember SHARING is indeed CARING!!!
Thank you all!!!!
“The Triumph In Me”
Never knew it was there but it was all along
My dream come true is being led by my biggest nightmare
Disabled and still dreaming? Just because I’m disabled
doesn’t make my dreams any less attainable… Striving for success while facing
challenges of becoming disabled… I wasn’t born this way and I won’t die this
way… Defeating my disability…
Cheers to a new beginning! A new life I chose to claim after
surviving 4 brain surgeries within a 5-year span. I am a single African American woman, mother of one daughter, now age 21-years old. My name is Kashinda and I raised my daughter as a single
parent while also suffering from mental illness (Depression). My life has been
filled with one challenge after another and presently I must deal with a
physically limited lifestyle due to a chronic case of Peripheral Neuropathy,
which makes tackling the simplest task difficult to complete.
The pain from nerve damage is horrible but I am learning to adapt.
I am very grateful just to be alive.
I have been blessed enough to realize I needed to make a
choice, to live the best I can with what I have or wither away in sorrow. I
chose to live. I actually decided to share this story with the world by authoring
my first book entitled “The Triumph In Me”, which is set to re-launch soon.
Writing a book was not something I sat out to do but as I got to know
myself again, there was something in my heart that felt like there can never be
too many stories shared. It is my hopes to inspire and motivate anyone who can
relate to similar or not so similar issues. For them to grab hold to a handful
of faith and choose to live their lives as well. Often we get so overwhelmed by
all the negativity, we lose sight of any hope for the positive things that can
arise from our unfortunate situations. I have basically lived in silence with
my illnesses aside from a handful of people.
It is now I choose to own my life as it is.
Will you join me in sharing
my truth? Use the hashtag #Tharisse and share to your social media.
Much thanks and appreciation!
YES I think you’re beautiful
YES I believe in you
YES you mean the world to me
YES I adore you
YES I trust you
YES you! Who me? YES you; the one who is looking back at me in this mirror. YES you!
Desperate to find love. One of an unconditional nature.
No stipulations, no judgments, no future parting of ways.
An uplifting spirit would be nice. Lay with me. Hold me. Touch me.
Be gentle for I am fragile. Be understanding for I am complex.
Listen. Strengthen. Accept and receive me.
I will give all I have to find you again.
I’m searching for you, hope where are you? Hope are you there?
Flooded by silent tears. Captured by heightened fears.
No one to see me. No one for me to be.
Alone, weak, hungry for you hope, where are you? Are you there?
If I had just a little, I promise to make the best.
Show me just a little, I promise to do the rest.
Hope where are you? Hope are you there?