Hey guys here is a piece I feel would allow a better understanding of what it is I write about her on my blog. The very thing of my purpose. Life. I write about life. My life and lately I have been led to the sharing of the life lessons I have learned along the way, learning along the way and that of others before me and the lessons they have publicly shared.
With a respect for others and their beliefs, I understand that many won’t be in agreement. That’s what makes it so awesome, it’s ok.
Life lessons were intended to be the teachings of you. They also serve as beneficial particles of direction for others. Some lessons learned from others can be quite successful in the life of others and some may not. If we chose to follow we must understand the it comes down to choice. You can choose to use life lessons from others to implement into your own blueprint or you don’t have to. I chose to learn from others ways. My ancestors lived through the worst of times than now. As bad as it is. They lived through the first of times of what we know as modern civilization. The not so civil of times partially because it was the first of. Isn’t it safe to say that most first timers fail or suck and if you get to nail anything the first time around you are truly gifted because most of us don’t. I know I didn’t and so maybe they didn’t either. They being the ones who lived in this same world that I do today. Doing the same old thing making their difference in different ways. Commonality? We are all living, rite? We all look for love, we all want to eat, sleep and shit. We all enjoy the idea of making money.
My point here is I am choosing what way I choose to make my difference in a world not giving to me but rather in a world I am being given to. A world I am to be giving. This is the me God intended me to be. The me I didn’t know. I am a Storyteller.
A me who knows I’m dying. A me who knows this may or may not be a wise choice but also a me who knows the Glory of my God and He who gives me the strength is He whom I trust. Here I will share parts of my life with you until there is no more life to share.
The Prayer that introduces The Me I Didn’t Know
By the age fourteen, I didn’t know I had already began the purge of the true me. All I knew was that I hated my household, had the self-esteem of a scorned woman and that I had already developed the image of my life as it were to be. I didn’t know how I viewed the world and all things within including myself would depict my growth and in what ways. This eternal process is my life.
What provoked this share was the studying of my culture and the exhaustingly decline in my health. I had been worn so thin by the age forty, there was no choice but to surrender to God. He who has created the everything we were created to consider and He who has created all beings that are to be considered, I turn to you for I have no other place to go.
Heavenly Father, I thank you for the life You given me. I appreciate al the disguised blessings I was too ignorant to recognize. I am infinitely grateful for the time spent and the gift of my daughter. I enjoyed motherhood; so thank you for that. I come to you Dear Lord because as you already know, the time has come and I have arrived at the place. The place in my life where I need your help Dear Lord and I haven’t found anyone capable of the task. Not even I.
I now understand that my life and all its struggles challenges and obstacles, all of its disappointments, devastations and un-resulting determinations. I now understand how blessed I was to have been a part of the lives of others, the life of a child carefully handled from the heart and that of the life I was able to witness with my own sight as witness. I thank you Father.
I am seeking the peace that’s missing in my life still holding me captive and that is the negative ways of my thinking. My perception is under attack and I have done all I could to oppose it and Father I have failed. I continue to foster thoughts of disgrace, fear and judgement. Guilt. Guilt of not allowing the true self of me to emerge. The me you created me to be in full bloom and blossom. To you Heavenly Father, I am seeking your will. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen
This is a me who has lived in pain for most of my life. Living a life searching for pain relief.
What do I need to do to feel like this? The this I thought was that. The that I learned was this.
Making a choice in life is one of the most powerful tools given to us. Unfortunately, I was groomed to not recognize it. So, the choices I made in life were crafted by the mock design of the world around me, the people, my family, my household. Circumstances. All these things delivered to me in plain sight thru the surrendering of my life back to the one who created it and prayer for his help is who I am now. This is the me I didn’t know.
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Smiles and blessings!