Tag Archives: nerve damage

Still awake at 3am

Hey guys, I know it’s been a while but here I am. How’s everyone doing?

It’s 3am and I am awake. (Insomnia sucks!)

Staring at the ceiling wondering what my life would be like without the sicknesses, without pain, without the gloom of loneliness. So I decided to write.

Ever wonder what your life would like if you didn’t have that dark cloud hovering over you?

Well let me see, although it’s hard to imagine my life any different; I would like to think it would free. I would be free. Free to dream, free to explore, free to love and certainly  free to work. I felt like I was held captive by pain.

When you are challenged to live in constant pain, your response is to try and fight back. What does that little voice inside you say? Does it try and convince you that you can handle it? Does it often remind you that you’re human and it’s ok to feel and that it will pass soon?

But what if it doesn’t. You must find a way to alleviate it, rite? You’ve tried all sorts of remedies. Time to get your mind in the game and pray your physical being falls in line.

I am learning to refocus my energy away from the things/thoughts that bring me negative feelings. I want to share my experience with those that are at the end of their ropes. I have created a MeetUp group for people living with chronic pain. I chose to dedicate it to persons with symptoms of nerve damage but all pain relief seekers are welcomed. We will share ideas and discover effective ways of coping.

Providing helpful support, encouraging others and allowing my journey to set an example of hope brings me great joy. It’s what I have found to be a positive shift in energy.

There’s no doubt we all will have bad days but you deserve some good ones too.

Join in on a Skype meeting usually held on Saturdays at 5pm Est and you may discover a positive distraction that works well for you. Maybe you’d like to share something that can be helpful to another. Either way, we’d love to have you.

It’s free to join the group. Sign up here: MeetUp .

Another Day Still Fighting

Hey guys!  Today is another one of those days on the battlefield, the battlefield of LIFE.

It’s no secret that I have decided to share the intimate details of my journey. I have admitted to struggling with the stability of my mental health as well as the decline in my physical abilities due to Peripheral Neuropathy otherwise known as nerve damage.

As I have been trying to take positive approaches towards bettering my life and gaining a confidence in the changes taking place, it has been extremely difficult fighting against the evils of giving up. I wish there were an easy way to transform oneself but the reality is there isn’t. My reality may be familiar or similar to many others and I try to connect with people to communicate helpful conversation. A conversation of hope but it doesn’t seem to be working.

So I shall continue to write. I will write what my heart chooses to say.

Tonight I am hurting. I am frustrated by the fact that my neuropathy is progressing faster than my mental can process it. I try to live by my message of optimism and never to give up but I am human. I am weakening. I ask God for the strength and endurance to get through my storms. I will write in hopes of relief. My words may or may not make much sense at times. The shitty thing about it all is that life at times doesn’t make much sense. Is there anyone out there who feel the same? Is there anyone out there who falls into the pit of darkness? I find myself begging for just a flicker of light in my darkness. I know it gets better but I just wish my better moments were more consistent. Is it okay to just sit in sorrow sometimes? The fight gets exhausting. People tell me all the time to keep fighting but sometimes I just rather not. I guess this is normal. What does that even mean? Normal? There is nothing normal about hating yourself one minute and trying to not the next. Oh yea, could that be the BiPolar in me? Maybe.

My next post will most likely be different than this one. Or not!

If you feel like saying something, please do. You MATTER!